THE DANCE OF ALL BEINGS BOOK ONE - THE IVORY PICK

“History comes in a rush all at once. Dreams, whimsy, and rhyme cover this world and backwash into the blasted earth whose history and charmed lives will entwine with new thoughts and changes. Landmark fillers notch time across the face of this new world—cutouts and facades of mountains, canyons, forests, and coastlines.

“Then it comes.

“The will to live…”

Deemos the legendary half-troll fights across a foreign world to find the nexus of the crisis that is the Nalig-mare, a demon of Nightmare that rolls over the world raising an undead army from the genocide of that world’s magical creatures. Deemos comes close to a truth even the godlings struggle to keep hidden, and he is cast out of that world into the Natural of the Blasted Earth as a mutos-spirit taking refuge inside mundane men. Here the Nalig-mare, the demon Despair, continues its plague upon the world, and Deemos battles through many lifetimes to purge the world of this Nightmare. After a reckless battle with Despair through the streets of Chicagoland, Deemos settles into the form of Carl Barkett.

Carl Barkett, fourteen years old, spending his summer at scout camp, awakens to the reality of being a host for the legendary half-troll. Carl will not allow Deemos to carelessly run away with his life, and locks the troll away in his brain, losing any knowledge of a lifetime spent at war with Nightmare. Carl leaves his broken home life for the brighter realms of being a real hero, a real protector. Joining a local flokk of trolls, he will batter and bash his way across his local territory. Despair, however, sees the anger, the darkness within Carl and shows him what a terrible Black Knight he could become.

Will Carl be able to keep those most precious to him from being lost to darkness, or will he be able to overcome the demon Despair that would shadow the world in the eternal nighttime? Hope vs Despair – The White vs. Nightmare – as the magic of gods and the creatures of myth return to the Blasted Earth.

The Re-Ordering

Sure… and it’s only me.

But.

After giving The Holy White Fire the grooming and attention it needed after the grooming and attention given to Books 2 and 3, I have decided that since they are my own thing out in the wild that I would re-order them as they were originally intended. The Ivory Pick has become book 1 and THWF and TWD are now books 2 and 3 respectively. This wasn’t an easy decision.

Well…

The first reactions to the Ivory Pick being part one were lukewarm at best. But at the time, the text was lukewarm at best and I understand why. After having gone through some classes on writing and formatting etc., TIP is a very different book. The text is much cleaner. It makes more sense, and the characterization is a lot better. As an opener, it gives you all the junk in the world, but it’s not a hand holder full of stereo instructions. Having been intended as a later part of the series, it assumed you know a lot of stuff already. Here it makes for a brisk kind of “catch up” feeling-a kind of “you just gotta figure it out as you go along” style.

THWF went through a final revision that I should have done the first time. I was always iffy on letting people read it as I knew it needed work. I didn’t want to put any more time into it. By the time the other two were finished and I had a whole new toolbox to work with, I finally succumbed and did a final editing pass. I’m glad I did. It reads much better, it’s clean, and it falls more in line stylistically. I wanted to move it more toward adult and it is. That became a little more sexuality and a little more horror. As I had it read back to me by the trusty Alex living inside my computer, I realized how much horror is in it. I don’t have qualms calling it ‘dark fantasy’ now.

THWF really needed to be cut down as it was pushing 160000 words. Most of that was in the bloat of making a doorstopper originally, and the second bloating cutting it in two to make two books for my original publisher. Now it is cut down to just over 140000 words, and most of that was from cutting dead text and filter words. I could have cut it down to 120000 words, but really that would mean re-writing it to keep those character beats that I would be losing in just wholesale slaughtering chapters. I’m not going to put in the time for that. So there are some long, some might say repetitious sections, but they contain the necessary character beats that build the characters so they remain. If someone is ever going to pay me to re-write it, I will, but until then this is what it is. I’m not unhappy with that. It’s unique. It’s not a “Children of Gristle and Tires” generic fantasy. It has something to say, even if it’s a little long-winded about it.

What was once a bigger puzzle box, now that it is back in order, is a lesser puzzle box, but I’m okay with that. It doesn’t need to be Cloud Atlas, though I long thought of how many different ways I could break up the text. I have versions that are literally cut and pasted, mix-matched sections and versions that put the whole thing in continuous order. I contemplated making a single version of the whole thing for Amazon.

The secondary news would be me stepping away from the series for a moment while I pursue an idea of two non-fiction books to submit for publication. One will be on writing from a (not necessarily) unique perspective, and a book of esoterica at the encouragement of other writers of similar esoteric works. Once I’ve done that, I will look at completing The Brightest Star and perhaps the fifth book. I would hope to push those books to publishers as well so they may remain well hidden until that course is fully pursued.

So It Begins

I’ve begun work on book 4. It is tentatively titled The Brightest Star. I think that’s what it will stay, but if I’m paid enough to change it, I would. It’s the sum total of what I have learned and what I have taught myself as a writer, and it is following ‘the rules.’ I’ve set the story beats, I’ve journaled, I’ve outlined, I’ve made an ending for the story, and I’ve scooped out all the useless middle before I even started writing. It will have an effective query and an effective synopsis. It will conform with the standards for genre writing. It will have a grabber of an opening line. It will have a voicey MC. It will have a well groomed opening chapter. It will not have a messy unending middle. It will have an actual finale, i.e. Stand Alone With Series Potential.

This one will be submitted to agents for hopeful publication with an imprint that can put me on shelves other than the ones in my own house. If I am picked up, I will take down the others in the series from publication and I will rework them and offer them as the next in the series. With 3 already written, that puts me ahead if they want them. If they are paying me, no, I won’t mind reworking them to what they need. They’ve been put out exactly as I wanted them, at the best of my ability, at the time. The first one has been put out twice, so if they want it, but they want it different, that’s fine by me.

I liked the idea of having the series be a bit of a ‘puzzle box’ series, but now that The Ivory Pick is out, I think I might pull all of them and re-release them in order of The Ivory Pick first, The Holy White Fire second and The White Dragon as third. It does make more sense that way, and I think The Ivory Pick might be the best written of the three, so why not start with a grimdark bang right out of the gate? They are horror fantasy, and I’ve come to terms with that, but I do think they have literary aspirations and could aim slightly higher than their genre label.

The Brightest Star will be high fantasy. Full on, but again with literary aspirations and definitely bits of horror thrown in there. It has conventions, it has tropes, but I think its going to be literary enough to raise it above those expectations. It has a gay protagonist that is not human, it has other LGBTQ characters including a gender fluid sidekick. All with tragic pasts for sure, but what story of mine goes without past life tragedy? I mean really. The rough draft of the Brightest Star is at about 80,000 words. I will look at pushing it right to 100,000. Most of that will be in the acts leading to the finale. Previously, I had planned it as another 170,000 word monstrosity where the entire series more or less wrapped up, but now I see it will have another book beyond it. That will be the conclusion. I have an inkling of what that will be, but no story of any kind set up for it.

In the grand scheme, there is a sci-fi book that could be in the series about a colony on Mars that through disaster, its population is dwindled to one or a few, and there is no answer when calling home. I doubt that will ever be written, but it’s an interesting idea. The world of the twin moons, Sei-Teybarune, is where The Brightest Star is set, and there are several high fantasy, epic ideas for books that have nothing to do with The Blasted Earth which I have already sketched, if not plotted out, set in that world. I would like to do some of those. All the tropes are there and accounted for; it would be up to me to make them more modern and have reason to fit into the modern fantasy market.

So at this point I’m on Chapter 3 of the first revision of the rough draft and I’m looking to gain a beta reader or two. You know who you’re real friends are after that… wow…

A Writer's What Not To Do 2 or Luca Review

First off, it’s a beautiful film. I might say this is an even better realized world than Raya was. It is more solidly grounded. It’s vibrant and the color palette chosen is a visual feast for the eyes. I also like the different take on the character design. It has an Aardman look to the standard Pixar human design with a modern spin on retro, not 80s, but even 60s in its feel of a romantic era of Italy. Still, I have to ask as I always do after a Pixar film: “Would it not have been cheaper and quicker to just shoot it for real?”

The film as presented is a charmer. It’s nostalgic and romantic and a lovely little fairy tale that kids can watch and love as much as adults. That’s typical. It’s what I expect from Pixar. It’s boy’s adventure! It’s not Mary Sue and the Last Super Squee. This is a refreshing change. It’s also very personal coming from a single voice. So, I’m on board and I give it a strongly recommended A-

Trust your audience is wise advise for writers. Story-wise it’s almost as if they said, but wait! what about the kids? They need to be kept engaged with the funny! I say, trust your audience. Pixar especially has won the right to say, we’re not going to cater. Family friendly, sure, but we’re not going to cater. If they trusted their audience a little more they could have avoided setting the film’s base age at ‘kiddies,’ and had a more ‘generally for everyone’ feel like Soul had.

Trust your audience and embrace what your story is, is often good writing advice. Is this a nostalgic, coming-of-age postcard from a perfect summer on the Italian Riviera, or is it a magical underwater mer-creature story? Just because you’re Pixar, it doesn’t mean everything has to have silly creatures front and center. Not everything needs to be ‘read in between the lines.’ Not everything needs to make sure under-educated American toddlers, (of any age), have a laugh every so many minutes.

With the time and investment they made in the movie and in scouting the little towns on the northern Italian coast where the writer spent his youth, embrace making that love letter to a perfect, romantic summer of boys coming of age in friendship and glimpsing where they are going afterward. The girl, Giulia, the race, (cringe worthy villain character aside), are perfect for this. The dad finding a bond with Alberto—all good. Trust your audience and make that film. With animation this breath taking, the audience will go right along with you.

Instead, what we get is a wanna be postcard tale mixed with sea monsters who have to hide from the land monsters. The sea monsters, interestingly, all speak and act like modern American land monsters. Why? Their skin instantly transforms from the merest touch of water and changes back when dried. Apparently drying water in this world involves just swishing the air a bit with their hand in front of the moistened area. And they can’t let you forget how perilous being found out is. Every few seconds, the boys are shrieking and jumping and crashing out of sight so they won’t be caught. Is this a Disney Channel slapstick for little kiddies, or is this a general audience film? And when all is revealed, this sea monster hating and sea monster hunting village is instantly okay with them being sea monsters.

The villain is also over the top. It’s a kid’s race. He is obviously an adult. Why do they let him in the race? Why do they tolerate him when he is obviously not a kid and an abusive bully to everyone?

What I was hoping for from this film was a lot less of the slapstick “comedy” of the boys hiding they are sea monsters and a lot more of boy’s coming of age adventure in this Italian landscape. Also, a lot less of the undersea world all together would have given them more time to develop these characters. Though the transparent Uncle, (Punch his heart!), was hilarious.

Trusting their audience a bit more, perhaps the sea creatures aren’t revealed until the very, very end. Instead of hyper silly fantasy, make it more magical realism. Perhaps have the movie begin with Luca meeting Alberto in his tower. We aren’t shown they are are anything more than human characters. They each have reasonable, (if not a little odd), reasons why they don’t want to swim or get wet. They have the same type of relationship building, they do many of the same things, and eventually you learn about Luca being a runaway and Alberto waiting on his dad. They decide to go into the village and have adventures as they did in the film. A little bit of the fish out of water (pun intended!) trope, but they have a great summer meeting a girl, learning about the race and vespas, they have a kid antagonist in the race - not an adult, and Alberto bonds with Giulia’s dad just as events unfolded in the movie. There is more time for the boys to have a deeper emotional relationship, especially as the triangle of them and Giulia develops.

At the very end, perhaps, Alberto discovers Luca is a sea creature when his parents come and take him on the shoreline, perhaps a sundown moment after the end of the race. Only Alberto and Giulia see it—her from afar, Alberto from close up. They have their emotional parting. Luca has to go back, and Alberto has found a place with his new dad. Before it goes to black, it pans down to Alberto’s foot, it’s a sea monster foot in the water. He turns wistfully and goes home with Giulia. The End. A little bit of the “oh! what if…” kind of thing. It could have enough natural humor to satisfy that need, and it would have had more emotional impact at the end.

It’s fine that there is a certain ‘will they won’t they,’ and ‘are they aren’t they’ to each of kids relationships in the film as presented. The fact the boys are very ‘hands on’ with each other, the fact that there is a growing friendship between Luca and Giulia is all good. None of it needed to be expressed or explained. It’s just part of that summer when things awoke and things were beautiful between friends. It allows the film to be whatever the viewer needed it to be.

For what it is, I give Luca an A- as a truly missed opportunity… but then nearly all made by committee films like this are a missed opportunity.

A Writer's What Not To Do or Raya and the Last Dragon Review

Where do you start?

I saw this as more of a youtube video on plot disasters and how to fix them. Well, let’s start from the beginning.

The movie is beautiful. In 4K, it is a wonder to behold, very well done. You could watch it with the sound off, and you’d probably have a better experience—perhaps with some Kitaro music playing as you watched.

Plot-wise, it’s a real mess, and a disappointment for all the hype this film received. I would be annoyed if I paid $30 for this. The movie stats say it is a 2-hour film. It’s not. It’s 90 minutes with literally 20 minutes of end credits. The issue here is the size of the story they are trying to tell - it’s not happening in 90 minutes. This a sprawling epic that requires time to develop, but no, it’s cram and rush right up to the end.

Know when your story starts we are taught as authors. This is a key example of not knowing when the story starts as the beginning gives you the sparks notes of a crash course in this world’s mythology and cultural relations. You learn so much in a huge force-feed that you’re left wondering when the story is going to start. Also, the tone here is very weird. They are trying to strike a ye olde worlde Asian-lite atmosphere but the kids are all Disney Channel hyperactive dorks using modern words that are out of place as they attempt to set up the story.

The story begins in the desert with older Raya riding her giant pill-bug roly-poly creature. You don’t need any of that backstory. You can learn it as you go along with the characters. The rule here: TRUST YOUR READERS. Drop them in at the beginning of the action and let them learn as the character does.

A better start: The later scene of the dragons giving Sisu the dragon gem and being wiped out as the ‘cold open.’ Titles. Smash cut to Raya rolling in the desert. She doesn’t have to know anything except that she lost her father and the rest of the world in the blip… I mean… in the ‘drin’ or whatever attack. She doesn’t have to be a trained protector. She can learn all that history as she goes along. In this opening scene she could be following up on the last rumor of a rumor about bringing her father… and the world… back… she has an old map and her roly-poly bug comic relief and off we go.

Do not info-dump in giant huge walls of text and telling we are taught as authors. The opening ‘prologue’ here includes all the world history, mythology, and maps in one giant dump. They show a map over and over and over. They might as well have said, ”Get it? The map looks like a dragon and the tribes are named after its parts… get it? get it? get it? She’s gonna follow the map from point to point like a giant video game… get it? get it?

Don’t do this. Sure, some kids are dumb… but hey, that’s American schools for you. They could have explained in dialog and in experiences all the important info while we followed Raya on an Indiana Jones-style quest for the dragon gem parts.

A consistent tone is important we are taught as authors. The dialog and pacing switches on a dime between hyperactive Disney Channel kids with super cringe modern anachronisms and being a more sedate and straightforward speech pattern typical for the setting and style of such an adventure film. This tone flip-flopping pulls you out of the film and makes you dislike the characters more than finding them endearing.

Your world needs consistent rules on the types of creatures who inhabit it and their cultures we are taught as authors. There is a “con-baby” in this film. Yes - a creature that looks like a baby but is capable of working the streets like an experienced adult street tough, who also possesses sweet ninja skills. Not only that, but the “con-baby” can communicate telepathically with animals. This mutant baby also has a fairly young mother that is glad to see it after it had been away from her so long on this adventure with Raya. A boy of 8 or 9 is captain of a ship for hire and is a first-class cook. He says he remembers his sister nurturing him before the blip. That would have made him only 1 or 2 years old unless he too is a mutant of some kind. He also talks super cringe - like all the other kids would bully him for being such a dork.

Kill your precious we are taught as authors, or, how many comic relief characters does this cookie-cutter, by committee plot need? The roly-poly bug is comic relief. The boy captain is comic relief. The con-baby is comic relief. The con-baby’s monkeys are comic relief. Sisu is comic relief. Know when enough is enough. The roly-poly bug is the comic relief. Sisu is the fish out of water sidekick. The boy and the baby and the monkeys all need to go.

Was this film watchable? Sure. It’s beautiful. Well worth a stream if you’re already paying for Disney+. The animation is state of the art, but with the sound on, it’s a real letdown. A real test of patience. A pair of fresh eyes looking at the plot and story before the final script lockdown would have seen at least a couple of these holes and would have been able to say, ‘hold on a minute,’ or perhaps ‘нэг минут хүлээ,’ and they could have chartered them on a better path.

Bully the Bear and The Holy White Fire Updates

With the closing of Portals Publishing, I was given back the Bully the Bear manuscript and artwork. I haven’t yet seen it come down from Amazon, but it is listed as ‘temporarily out of stock.’ I won’t be putting that book back up. I won’t be revising it. The version that is now the proper version is The Holy White Fire. It is the first and second part of that story, now complete in one, with the edits as I originally had them in the text.

I took that opportunity to update the text of The Holy White Fire. I was only going to change a name of a character that shows up only briefly but has a bigger role in my current project, The Ivory Pick, but of course, I went through the whole thing. I didn’t rewrite anything except for the transition scene that leads from the end of Part One into Part Two. I wanted that to make a little more sense. I changed the one character’s name, and I went through looking at everything Word flagged as a grammar error. Mostly it meant me throwing about 500 commas at the text. I couldn’t believe how many and’s needed a comma. I’m not sure why Grammarly wouldn’t flag that, but there they were.

That’s the last work I’m doing on that text… unless a publisher wants to do something with it. Then I will overhaul it with a serious eye, but until that happens, this is the text and that’s it. I could work on it infinitely, and that gets me nowhere.

“No art is ever really finished. It’s merely abandoned.” - Mike Portnoy

I also know that if a ‘major publisher’ wanted Bully, they’d only want the themes and they’d want me to write a new story around those themes. Perhaps making Bully more a typical shape-changing hero - go Disney! For me, Bully in The Holy White Fire is what that story is supposed to be. It’s up close and personal to Bully. I put the reader right into his shoes. They will understand him inside and out as his body changes and as he matures. Does it have crazy fantasy elements and crazy horror elements? Oh yes, lots, but it’s very much centered on him dealing with all that. Not in a fun, ‘saved by the bell,’ ‘ain’t high school nutty?’ kind of way, but in the way of a boy having to deal with growing up, his sexuality, a chronic disease that overtakes his life, his fanatical mom, and his abusive father.

I’m not even sure Bully is likable. I think he grows into be likable. He tries very hard. (He’s very trying…) And that’s exactly what I wanted. At the time it was a response to the explosion of ‘girl power!!!!!’ books that were erupting everywhere, becoming a trope and a gimmick. Boy’s adventure was lacking at the time, and Bully started off in the vein of being a response to that. The more I worked it, the more personal it became as I drew from elements of my own life and many different characters that I knew growing up.

There is a lot of (mostly casual) nudity. The casual nudity in all the DoAB stories served the purpose, at the time and even now, that nudity does not equal sex, that male nudity is not ‘obscene’, and female nudity is not a commodity. (Unlike the 70s and 80s where a topless woman was in like… everything) I wanted the reader to be in the shoes of a character that is not ‘pretty’ or ‘typical’ to most media. I didn’t want him to be an X-Man that had godlike powers, huge muscles, and looked like a GQ model twink, (a blond, twenty-something with a swimmer’s build, naturally…). I wanted Bully to be someone the reader was kind of forced to have to be inside. They had to deal with the fact that he was far from a twinky superstar model, and often he was naked in the Green or while being taken care of. In retrospect, it became a little repetitive. I cut a lot of it out, but it’s still clear that you are up close and personal with this far from normal young man.

With that out of the way, I work now toward DoAB 3 - The Ivory Pick and the yet-to-be-titled DoAB 4.

Up a Review

Up (Some thoughts I had seeing it in the theater upon its release in 3D…)

I knew going in that this theater experience wasn't optimal. I was hoping a whole summer school class from Gemini elementary wasn't going to be there, but darn the luck, they were. I knew that it would be pretty full, though without them, there would have only been like ten of us there for the show. For being kids, they weren't that bad, and I sat a few rows behind them. I didn't know what to expect from the 3D, and I’m glad to say it's not all about pies and rocks and sticks and things flying at your face any more. It still suffers from being dim and a bit jittery through fast movement, but all in all, it was done with taste and used mostly to show depth and to highlight rather than to have a ton of effects.

The opening short film, Partly Cloudy was brilliant. (at the time…sure—Eddie) Of all the shorts, this one was hands down masterful. That adds a star to whatever you might think of Up all by itself.

The movie itself was good but odd. As with Wall-E, it is clear that half of Pixar wants to grow up and the other half of Pixar wants to stay Toy Story. The set up of the first twenty minutes, as with Wall-E is one type of film. Lyrical, well done, minimal dialog, beautiful animation that puts to shame, oh say the entire output of any other animation studio this year and last combined. It a dark story. It's not really a kids story to start. It's spans a lifetime and includes what could actually be a miscarriage and a spot of blood - heretofore unseen in a Pixar film. It's PG... that's why. The kids are not going to be thrilled with that, but hey, I'm not a kid so take a hike toddlers. Go watch iCarly or whatever the hell it is you watch these days.

The second part is where we introduce the kid fare in the form of a wayward balloon house and a Wilderness Explorer named Russell. I like Russell. I like the house. I like the idea of Russell and the old man and the house having adventures. That should have been the entire film - Russell, the old dude and the flying house - what’s not to love there? We get a little bit of that, but all too soon we get the funny animals. The funny animals jump the shark—several times. Dug the dog is funny, but a whole pack of them showing up got old fast. The were each strapped with the technology of a "translating collar" which was funny on Dug, but not a whole pack. They didn't really think it out and put it to good use. It was to make kids finally have something to laugh at. The bird character when it showed up was okay, turning out to be the victim that needed rescuing from the villain. Once they got chasing the villain and used the house more, it rocked fairly solidly to the end.

A few holes, but it's Pixar. Russell's stepmom was probably wondering where the hell he was for what? a week? He goes out to work on a 'wilderness' scout badge to help the old man and disappears? Yikes. They also let on that not only is his guardian just his stepmom, but that the dad doesn't have much time to spend with him anymore. What the hell? Parents just get kicked in the crotch by Disney. This time there is no biological mom and the dad just doesn't 'have time for him'. He's left with his stepmom. Wow. Talk about your cesspool of angst. What's that story all about? Of course he latches onto the old man. When that old man dies, which won't be long, what's he gonna think then. This kid is in for some serious therapy later.

Did I like it? The animation, sure, amazing. I think it might be better without the 3D. (2D in 4K is superior… just saying—Eddie) I think the projection of the image would be bigger and brighter in 2D and you wouldn't really lose anything. Though, really, as I said, this puts the other animation houses right in the dirt. The story was a B+. If it had just been the old man, russell and the house flying into adventures, that would have been fine by me. I think the goofball stuff was shoveled in to make sure the little ones didn't fall asleep. I think Pixar might have to think about splitting into two production companies and make films for different audiences. I think Up might be better than Wall-E, though it's hard to top the first twenty minutes of Wall-E. Once I see it again on DVD, I might have a different opinion. Worth seeing at the theater? Yes, but the kiddies in the theater will repeatedly take you out of the experience, so you take your chances on how involved you will be.


Horns by Joe Hill Review

Joe Hill is the son of Stephen King, who is also writing the very cool comic series "Locke & Key".

As a new writer, I'm often left surprised at things that get published vs. what I am often told / taught about the business of writing. This is one of those books, that if it were mine and I was offering it for submission or critique, I would expect it to be handed back to me with a long list of corrections. It's a good idea. It starts off with a bang and it rolls right along. In fact, it gives me a lot of info and a lot of the gimmick right off and it got me hooked. As this is very early Joe riding on his father’s coattails, you can tell that the first part of Horns was probably a short story idea he had tucked in a drawer and expanded it to a novel on request.

Then BANG! It stops dead with a flashback. A LONG flashback, A LOT of flashback... a flashback of stuff we already knew, but now we're going to get it full length. This is why I think it was a short story originally and in trying to expand it to a novel, he either didn’t trust himself to just go with that singular vision, or didn’t trust the reader to ‘get it.’ As for me as a reader, I skipped it. As I skipped every other flashback. These were unnecessary. Joe could have given us all this info in the main character Ig's connection with other folk as his 'affliction' was explored. Again and again the action STOPS DEAD with long laborious flashback sequences. What started off as a race car turns into a scooter. I literally skipped the majority of these flashbacks, lost very little of the plot and reduced the book length by half.

It’s not to say that utilizing flashback in such a way is inherently bad - good writing is good, bad writing is bad. This, however, didn’t cover new ground and felt unnecessary, especially after the immediacy of the start of the book. The bulk of the flashbacks covered what I already knew and anything that was fresh material could have been discovered by Ig as we went along. If you want to do all that back history, then put the book into chronological order, make the book more of a slow burn as we weave our way in and out of these characters lives until the final tragic events unfold. That would have made it more of a papa King book, while the punch in the face of the intro was more of an original thought.

There are also a lot of other grammar choices and font choices and style choices that one would think an editor would have worked with him on before it went to press. I think his lineage may be getting him a free pass or two on bad ideas.

That being said, it's not horrible. It's a good idea, and when it's rolling along, you want to go exploring with Ig, you want it to be a murder mystery where bad people get their comeuppance at the hands of this monster. You want him to spend time trying to figure out his 'powers' and how they work and who they affect. That could have been the bulk of the novel - a bigger novel - a better novel. "What would you do if you woke up and found not only your girlfriend horribly murdered, but also your memory blank from the last few days and that you were GROWING HORNS OUT OF YOUR HEAD." There's your story. Learn as Ig learns, every clue is double cross, and he learns just what 'wisdom of the masses' actually means. This could have been dark and philosophical, horrifying and thought provoking, and many other things all at the same time.

I give him a B+ for the Idea, and a "Left wanting much more" C+ for the execution.

Geeks On Diversity

I browsed on Amazon, thanks to an FB ad-so I’m sure I’m getting a thousand more similar ads-for 5th E DND Candlekeep Mysteries. It’s a book of several quick mystery scenarios that can be dropped into any existing campaign. Fair enough. I often look to the comments to get a baseline idea of the quality of the product. Of course, that was a mistake.

The mistake was getting down into a morass of the worst of nerd-kind going off about “woke” stuff. There is a debate to be had about diversity vs gimmicks. Unfortunately, you can’t have that conversation anymore as you are immediately drowned out by the cries of being a nazi on one side and the other side proving at the top of their voice that they are indeed nazis. The worst of the full-on nerd, anti woke nazis actually make the point for the woke folk in their barely disguised misogyny, homophobia, and hate for anything other than their own personal white status quo. They are often the loudest and vilest voices in the discussion, and I would take up any side of the argument that wasn’t their side of the argument.

The problem here is us old-school geeks, (as opposed to these vile nerds - and yes there is a distinction), can sniff the shit smell coming from gimmicks in geek media from miles and miles away. We’ve been through all the major comic book deaths that were FOR REAL! and FOR PERMANENT! only to have enough issues go by for a trade, and the character is then magically back from the dead. There are movies to be made after all… and the character can’t be dead. There are stockholders to think about… and the character can’t be dead. We’ve got to pop sales this year… and the character can’t be dead. Captain America, Superman, Batman, all these and more have died FOR REALS and have magically bounced back healthy and hearty, and returned promptly, no muss-no fuss, to the status quo.

Every time there is a change in the creative team, you get one of two discussions about their run on the book:

1) We’re gonna really shake it up and take this character to new places, give him some real trials to work through that will CHANGE THE CHARACTER FOREVER!

or

2) We’re gonna take this character back to its roots, and make the character what fans loved about them from the start. Streamline the character, make them FUN AGAIN! Return them no muss-no fuss back to the status quo.

The real geeks out there know the gimmicks, we know the flow of books to the shelves, we know the old carny mentality of comic books being if 1 works 100 more pumped out until its beat to absolute death will work even better! We’ve seen how Marvel literally pushed out a ton of trash limited series just to drive DC and indie books physically off the shelves.

“It’s mutants… I gotta have a complete collection even if I hate it now… just saying…”

So when a gimmick hits we will call bs. In today’s world of woke, that immediately gets shouted down as nazi talk. Captain America is Hydra - gimmick. Death of any major flagship character - gimmick. Stretching stories from a couple of issue to six to make a graphic novel - gimmick. The Phoenix Saga in any form or fashion - gimmick. 20 Avengers and X-Men titles on the rack all at once - gimmick. The very nature of cliffhanger comic book storytelling - gimmick.

When we see flagship characters fundamentally changed - gender or race or both - for six months and then go back to ‘all is normal’ in time for the next film to release, we know it for what it is - a gimmick. It is fair to call comics, movies, games, novels on their gimmicks. Gimmicks are lazy storytelling. There is a discussion to be had on why aren’t new characters created that are diverse? Why change long-standing characters out of the blue. This is all cynical carny marketing. It’s also knowing that any of the tent pole characters created before 1970 are the only things making them money. There are very few original tent pole characters that were created after 1970. These characters can’t be fundamentally changed because the original white male characters are what drives their bus.

So when we see these cosmetic temporary changes to characters, our cries of woe aren’t about hating or not wanting diversity, it’s about rolling our eyes at seeing yet another gimmick. You shoved the Guardians of the Galaxy right up people’s noses and had a hit. Do that with similar diverse and weird ORIGINAL/BRAND NEW characters by equally weird and diverse creators and, hey, you got a shot of getting us on board. DC’s Vertigo line often featured the weird and diverse and those books were often celebrated for their nonstandard qualities. Neil Gaiman and his characters became legendary off that comic book line.

The good geeks welcome diversity. We want to see heroes and situations from our backgrounds. Be it the diverse array of patients on the Good Doctor to the power women on the Mandalorian to the quirky flakes on the Magicians, it’s all good. What we don’t like, and want to be able to comment on, is when it feels like it’s just a nobody robot dressed up in diverse drag, trotted out to the spotlight to be the diversity of the week. That sucks. Good writing is good writing and bad writing is bad writing and we should be able to comment on it.

In the case of the Candlekeep Mysteries, the problem comes in the push for wokeness to the point of changing the parameters of the game. DND is a game about a table of players coming to a consensus about the nature of the game they want to play for maximum fun utilizing the tools presented of balanced, unique races and balanced, unique class/job roles for their characters to assume. If you keep changing the game to where a 3’ foot hobbit is equal for all intents and purposes to 7’ 500lb dragon-kin character, you’re moving away from a core roleplaying ideal of the game. When anyone can do any magic, and anyone can be Conan or both at the same time, then that unique hero quality is lost from the game. When you change definitions of words like ‘paladin’ so anything can be a paladin for any type of philosophy, then you’re losing the core nature of DND.

The game balance of characters and their skills may not have a logical sense in the real world, but that’s okay - it’s not the real world, it’s a game. If anyone can be anything then you’re taking away the ability to be unique and be the one right hero for this mission. The parameters are to have a table of unique player creations that all get to have a spotlight on being the hero. It’s not about giving identical robots participation trophies. With that said, the best tools for DND are those that allow you to adapt them to your table. Some only want diverse roleplaying with happy squee moments. Some only want the grid on the table and miniatures and tactics. Most want some of both. The best tools are adaptable to any of them.

Most DND tools are half-assed money grubs. Old school geeks know this and need to be able to call it out. If I gotta keep track of all the NPCs gender because DND is now too woke to assign a gender to a FICTIONAL NPC, then I’m not gonna buy it anyway. Because I’m a hater? No, because I got better things to do as a Game Master. A realized world is one of ever-changing race conflict, gender conflict, political and religious conflict. Give me those tools and I’ll adapt them to my world. And yes, my world is better than anything they’ve published, so when I look for a tool that’s worth bringing into my game, it will be retooled to come into alignment with a better system - my own.

The only indications of wokeness need to come in the Game Master Guide to the system as part of how to run a game for beginners. Not to start with full-on diverse woke content, but to discuss among your players - particularly if they are new - what do they expect out of a game, what goes too far, do they expect a certain level of diversity, what types of characters would they like to play and to interact with, is this table about roleplaying or is it about tactics etc. That's where woke comes in - to make sure you're allowing everyone to participate fully for maximum enjoyment and be able to opt-out if it seems like it’s not a good fit.

In my game, people discover quickly the differences between the types of elves. if they have regular interaction with a city enclave of dwarves and expect that same interaction when they go into a mountain hall of dwarves, they will be rudely awakened to the differences. Some of this comes about from the current players bringing their creativity and improvisation to the situation. I don’t have to make sure every innkeeper is a lesbian transgender dwarf because the world is living and breathing and depending on the city in question, the people running the shops are there for very specific cultural, racial, political, and religious reasons - not because I’m putting a gimmick in place to virtue signal.

Is it good to foster diversity in geekdom - yes absolutely, but don’t insult us by representing us as a gimmick. We’ve been token far too long.

Grant by Ron Chernow Review

From the author of the much celebrated Hamilton, the biography that inspired the musical, comes an epic single volume biography of Ulysses S. Grant. It is highly detailed based on the multi-volume compiled set of Grant’s writings as well as memoirs and letters of his surrounding contemporaries, but is immediately readable and relatable. The reader feels like they are at his side and not at a distance. it also eschews a lot of the regular boiler plate text that surrounds Grant’s life - his alcoholism and the scandals of his administration - for an in-depth look at the truth of those accusations. You see where the stigma of his drinking was often used as a weapon against him with no supporting evidence for many of the accusations, and you see where his naivety errored consistently for the good of the people he called friends and trusted as co-workers and advisors even when they were royally conning him of his life savings.

After slogging into the dryer text of Hamilton, I was concerned that this was more of the same, but I found Grant to be imminently more readable, and indeed the voice given to Grant as the hapless man just trying to make his way into life being able to support a family of his own while trying to balance the meddlesome nature of an overbearing abolitionist father and a father in-law well steeped in the tradition of holding slaves ever at odds with each other is very compelling.

The beginning of the book details his life with a less than affectionate mother and a fast talking, pushy father who saddle their son with the pompous name of Hiram Ulysses Grant or H.U.G. School children being brats in any era immediately made him target number for their brattish ways. Grant, being an undersized kid of no particular weight with less than genius skills at academics, was an easy target. The friends he did make describe him as a good guy, if quiet, honest and loyal to a fault. Eventually, against his own ambitions, he is pushed into West Point. His academics remain humble, but he is quite the equestrian. Grant, if nothing else was a for real horse-whisperer that could tame and ride pretty much anything with little effort. It was going into West Point that a clerical error gave him the name of Ulysses S. Grant which he kept as it was better than H.U.G., but it didn’t stop people for better or worse making hay of the initials U.S. as in United States Grant.

It was at West Point that liquor becomes an issue for Grant. You can tell from the events that can be verified by multiple accounts, that he is one of those addicts that goes from no drink ever, to their first drink making them an instant, raging alcoholic. He goes on to struggle with this through out his life, but has the foresight to post a man at his side that becomes a life long trusted confident and advisor to keep him from drinking any alcohol. This would prove tough in a world where drinking spirits was as common as drinking water. Later his wife would take the role of guardian, but that did not stop him from going away (mostly) secretly to have multi-day binges of alcohol. By the time of his presidency, his temperance was still heavily monitored but very much under control, and the routine accusations by political enemies of how falling down drunk he was at events reads as an obvious bluff as there are multiple accounts of his actions as president wherever he went.

Grant really wants an occupation like a teacher or other ‘real’ job where he can grow his family with a steady income. Through twists and turns, he finds himself a quartermaster in the army, but his moans and groans of despair turn to ‘Hey! I’m good at this!’ Grant discovers he has a top-notch brain for organization and making sure the men counting on him are never out the supplies and services he can provide. He also begins to see how his brain is good at not only organizing provisions, but he can also organize troops and their movements in battle as well as moving from place to place. He does well enough, but is plagued by the rumors of his drinking not making him reliable, so he is often passed over. After being stationed in California, he leans into his drinking and basically forces the commanders to drum him out.

Grant spends awhile working at various things that seep through his hands or is swindled out from under him until he is truly a sad man selling lumber on the street. His thread bare clothes and modesty is something that he never really lets go of. Many will describe him even as president as looking ‘shabby’ or not as they would assume The General or The President would look. Men under him looked up to him for being one of the boys and looking after them and not putting on the airs they typically saw in other leaders. Eventually, with the war drums sounding between North and South, he is swept back into army life and is placed in charge of various sized units. He is not trusted due to his alcoholism at first and is often moved around and passed over. His men though, due to his charisma as a down to earth leader with much empathy, are in complete support of him as are other era names like William Tecumseh Sherman. Grant begins to get results other commanders fail to because he is not afraid to do the hard work of engaging, fighting, and then following up the enemy as they are routed. Eventually, this gets the attention of Lincoln who will put Grant is place as THE General overseeing the army as a whole. In fact, so great is Lincoln’s admiration of Grant as a fighting general that gets results, that he will eventually say, in effect, ‘Go do what you want, I won’t bother you, just send the occasional telegram to tell me how you’re winning.’

The war years points out a few things. At first, between Lincoln and Grant, that the civil war was strictly about pulling the South back into line and sustaining the Union. For the South, it was about states rights - but that was code for slavery - and still is. They wanted states rights to trump the federal move of outlawing or curtailing the right to keep slaves. Not having to pay for labor kept them in the good money, and they weren’t going to give that up as they had to expand into new territories for fresh fields. Their cotton business was crucial to keep them alive, and it was indeed one of the biggest imports not just into the North, but also into Britain and Europe. It wasn't solely about slavery, but the other issues are minuscule in comparison to the South’s desire to be able to keep humans.

Grant would say at first it was about maintaining the union in the face of the disloyal southern secessionists, but it quickly turns, per his thousands of communications, into being singularly about driving the plague of slavery out of the country. He had no hatred for southerners that could meet the call for doing away with slavery and peaceably rejoin the union. In fact, he gave them great comfort in exchange for their surrender to his army. However, he also understood that to rid the south of the idea of slavery in any form meant he would have to destroy and beak the south if they did not resolve to give up the idea. Sherman went to war across the south at his own discretion, with Grant’s blessing, to crush Georgia and then the Carolina’s if they would not submit.

Grant did all that he could to put the freed slaves into his army, into positions of power, to give them plantations and conquered towns. They revered him as their liberator, cheering him and following him, eagerly falling into positions to fight or to support the northern army. Jews also came to see Grant quite favorably and to a lesser extent Native Americans. If Grant could have, during Reconstruction, he would have used the federal army to go back into the southern states to basically finish the war against the rise of white terrorists, rapist, thieves, and murderers. He strove to do all he could, but often had to appease or excuse his actions by saying he was doing all a president could do within the laws of the land and the constitution. The Civil War, based on his writings as general and as president, and of the many generals and men under his command, was absolutely about slavery. Reconstruction was often about how to not allow the whites of the south to find ways to word laws to make the freed people slaves with another name.

The pressures of running two terms as president wore him down to a combative, politically savvy man, but still naively believed that a glad hand meant a good man even while swindling and cheating Grant right before his eyes. Before his presidency, he would say that he didn’t seek office, and he meant it. He would do his duty if it was placed upon him, but he didn’t seek it. By the time he had gone around the world after his second term as the Great General President of America, being received into throne rooms and grand courts in nearly every nation, this tone changed to being one of ‘I won’t have to seek it because I know I’ll be asked and I’ll certainly serve another term.’ Though, even with his last minute out right campaigning for it, twists and turns meant it was not to be, and he had to figure out what he was going to do to remain solvent and enjoy life with his family. Of course, this meant that he needed to immediately trust in the money making schemes of a complete charlatan and blow not just all the money he ever had in the world, but also the money of many of his family members.

Grant had once pushed aside the notion of writing a memoir, but circled back to it in his sudden poverty. Oh, great fortune though, as Mark Twain who had long sought a book out of the general, saved him from another crappy deal, and by sheer force struck a deal to publish a two volume set. Concurrent to that came his cancer of the throat from his non stop cigar smoking. His ability to write was well honed after years at war as commander and after two terms as president. He wrote an astounding amount, racing to his death. Twain took pre orders for the book and after his death, Twain was able to give Julia, his wife, over a half a million dollars from the profits in sales.

Chernow relates this epic tale of a man in the thick of a revolution of a nation in a compelling way that informs the reader of just how deep racial roots go. Just how ready men of the south were to not just push out reformers and put the black man in his place, but how he was willing to torture and murder in order to steal elections and run undesirables out of their lands. It informs just how fascism can quickly spread and become such a deep cancer that the threat of undoing democracy itself will not stop it.

Grant tells a vital story and should be on any book lover’s shelves.

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card - Review

Yes, I've only now gotten around to reading Ender's Game. It is written by Orson Scott Card who is an outrageous homophobe that clings to the last shreds of a ridiculous cult, yet still has quite a voice for sci-fi and speculative fiction. It is a story that was born in the literary magazines and then was expanded upon for release as a book. The current edition is an author approved 'final' edition. I would love to see this book as a movie—just not the movie we got—I mean a good movie. 

The book itself is a fairly simple story of a manipulative semi-shadow government trying to engineer special kids to become great military minds that can stop a coming invasion of an alien race that resembles ants or bees in its structure. The 'buggers' as they are known in the way we have of turning our 'enemies' into generic villains with only a stereotype for a description are fairly advanced in their ability to work the surface of their planet, control the plants and animals there, as well as traveling into space and colonizing asteroids and such. The buggers have apparently tried to invade once but were set back by the heroic abilities of the much-lauded  Mazer Rackham who is more of a symbol it seems than a real person. Ender has been selected for his potential to be the one mind that could lead our defending fleets to destroy the buggers before they can have a second invasion attempt. Ender is six. 

Of course, this is where the idea of the book went off the rails for me when I first heard about it as it seems to have for a lot of folks even after they read it. In defense of the book, I will say that Card does give lip service to the fact that these kids are 'special'. The kids say they are and the adults say they are in about four lines of story text. This really isn't enough to establish why, just that they are, and in good genre fiction, I can go with it. Lord knows I've gone with less. Ender is chosen for his genetic potential not just as a fine mind, but his potential to not care about what he has to do in order to accomplish his goal. 

The fact that this was a warmed-over magazine contribution shows through in much of the beginning and into the middle. He runs through important ideas very quickly. Fortunately, the characters and the situations are interesting enough that I do want to keep going with it. You see both sides of the coin with Ender and you begin to formulate your own ideas of what you would do and what he should do. As it rolls along it gets better and better in that regard and you start seeing the bigger picture. To the credit of the story, I did know there was a twist, but what I was building in my mind wasn't the twist that came about so I was pleasantly surprised. I also liked Ender taking control of his situation and working with the other kids as a leader. 

People reject the book because it's a kid playing a video game, and he does do that, but that's very little of the actual book, and it’s just a portion of the overall big story. It can also be a bit misleading for those who want the book to be that. The only video game played is one that is used to test the student's logic and thinking around obstacles and he not only beats it but kind of kills it early on. The rest of the games are his training in battle simulators against fleets of ships or in a huge nongravity sphere where the kids run mock battles against each other where they have to take the other armies home base or disable all the kids on the opposing team. Ender is brilliant throughout and develops deadly rivalries as he is manipulated and pushed through the training as the 'chosen one' by the semi-shadow government. By the end you're behind Ender and want him to succeed and if possible get over on his manipulators as well. The ending is well beyond what I expected it to be and I look forward to the next book to see if Speaker For The Dead can find a balance in the worlds he's never really belonged to. 

The cons of the book are that the kids are so young. I know how and why now that I've read the book, but if they were 12 to start and not 6, it would make for less of a leap. Also, the constant repetition of the boys being or getting naked and getting into and out of showers. There is even a scene where Ender not being in the mess means he must be in the shower and the mean boys go to jump him. To be honorable, the ring leader gets as wet, naked, and soapy as Ender is so it would be a fair fight. Mr. Card for some reason repeats the idea so consistently, it becomes a little cringy and more than a little creepy. 

That being said, the book’s characters overcome the creakiness of some of the writing and the ending for sure becomes a huge wide-screen affair that propels you into the next book. I was very surprised it was as good as it was and how it kept me coming back to it—a hard thing for pure sci-fi to do for me. I’m not sure if it’s a recommend as the author for many, and for me, is quite problematic. It’s often a school reading list book, and now having read it, I think I can properly discuss it with those who have concerns about it.

The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet by David Mitchell Review

Released in 2010, following ‘Cloud Atlas’ and ‘Black Swan Green,’ the Thousand Autumns is first and foremost an historical novel set in the late 18th century on the man-made island of Dejima off the coast of Nagasaki, Japan. As we can expect from a novel of weight from Mitchell, this is dense with detailed depictions of a crew of Dutch traders, the only traders that Japan is allowing itself to have contact with from the outside world, and how they maneuver through trade negotiations with the layers of interpreters, negotiators, prostitutes and their own double dealing.

Jacob arrives hoping to make enough money to placate the father of his beloved, and establish his own worth. He is assigned along with a new overseer to put the companies books back to right as corruption has become rife on the tiny island. As a straight shooting do gooder, this put Jacob in the difficult position of having to work with a crew that is also setting him up to be sure his clean up can only go so far. While working through this maze of culture and language and diplomacy, he becomes smitten with a student of the island’s doctor. His missteps in trying to win her hand sees her sent away to a nefarious shrine of the black arts. On top of that, the British arrive to take over as Napoleon has essentially taken their home country and dissolved their company.

The book is thick with prose describing life, culture, and the deft interplay of words that may be purposely mistranslated between nationalities. A reader’s first instinct is that it will be a hard go, but once into the text, it is not a burdensome read, often quite the opposite, with the characters strongly coming to the fore and never swamped by the world building superstructure flying in around them. It is historical fiction and thus it does have the tropes of setting being as important as anything else, but one immediately feels as if they are walking along side by side on Dejima with Jacob, or they on the road to the shrine of misfits, or even aboard the British ship with its Captain hoping to take control. The text is beautiful, often written with several layers, but it does not slow down the narrative flow. It does reward the reader to go back and pick through for all the bits they missed the first time.

The book is essentially in three blocks. The first section is spent with Jacob establishing the world and their mission as well as friendships, antagonists and romances. The second is spent with the midwife Orito who Jacob pursues and her efforts struggling with being sent away to a mysterious shrine. The third is a tale of the British sailing in to take over this trading port, one way or the other.

My only criticism here is the same as I have with other David Mitchell single narrative books: he’s actually writing in novellas and sometimes the links fitting them together don’t always sit together satisfactorily. The conclusions to part 1 and part 2 could have been stronger to leave the reader with a holy crap! what’s next? feeling and not a feeling of …hey… wait… This is more nitpicking than anything, but in a book so towering with amazing characterization, world building and prose, it does leave you wanting to feel a little more secure in your transitions. “Oh well, I guess this is new…” is not the best feeling in turning the page and finding all the characters you had been with are now in the background if on stage at all. The writing however, eases over these problems and quickly pushes any quibbles aside as you dive right back into great characters and action. Jacob, Orito, and the British Captain’s stories could all have been fleshed out into their own book—it’s that good.

If I had any serious criticism, it would be because David does tend to write in smaller bits tied together, sometimes the narrative comes to a dead halt as your main character encounters a new character that goes on for an entire chapter at times telling a backstory, or perhaps it’s a character reading a bible verse and each line is alternated with a line of story text. While well written, it can make the reader, upon encountering another block of similar text, just skip the long aside and go on. And that’s a shame. Often those asides are well written, very entertaining and informative, and the reader will miss out by skipping them. However, when you’re building up to someone’s final fate, those asides stop you dead and are frustrating.

On the whole though, the bounty of riches in this title are well worth the few extraneous asides. And while it is very much an historical drama, it does include a major character and important scene that strongly informs the over arching “Mitchell-verse” that pervades all his titles. Jacob’s descendent, Jasper de Zoet is a main character in “Utopia Avenue.” Along with “Cloud Atlas” and “The Bone Clocks,” this is a must read by a master craftsmen giving a graduate course in what writing can be.

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Utopia Avenue by David Mitchell Review

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Utopia Avenue is David Mitchell’s latest title featuring a put-together band that sails the seas of the music industry of London in ‘67/’68. David is known for his unique novel structures and this one is a simpler setup for the architecture of the novel. It’s divided into album sides for its parts and each chapter is a song title. The POV for each chapter is the character that wrote the song title. This works effectively enough, though it does mean that there are band members that basically get set off to the side.

The three POV’s are Elf, Dean, and Jasper. Each has a story arc under the bigger umbrella arc of the novel itself. Their stories, since they all involve their immediate investment in the band that is Utopia Avenue, hides what is often Mitchell’s ‘weakness’ in his novels. He doesn’t write a whole novel; he writes little stories and strings them together. In “Cloud Atlas” and “The Bone Clocks,” this is intentional and a strength. In a full novel with all characters going in one direction, you can get the feeling a chapter is not fully settled into the rest of the narrative and is coming off as an aside. Fortunately, his writing is of a strength that it usually doesn’t matter as the reader is fully engaged with what is on the page, wherever it’s going.

The voices for each POV are quite strong and I was impressed from the first time Dean did something really stupid, that I had a voice in my head for him that was clear and distinct. Elf, in my head, was a little mush mouth in voice, but as she did stupid things, I was more, “…oh come on, girl…” and not just rolling my eyes as I did with Dean. By the end, I was like, “…see Dean? That’s what you get!” The strongest POV was Jasper de Zoet. Many characters come and go through Mitchell’s books in a creative “Mitchell-verse,” and Jasper is a direct descendant of Jacob de Zoet from Mitchell’s, “The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet.” Of all the characters, I found him the most engaging and sympathetic, and Jasper actually has all of the few ‘holy shit!’ moments in the book, (which I did tweet as much to Mr. Mitchell who kindly and warmly replied.) I do wish that this book was solely from his POV, even a first-person POV, where his big moments came after the unfurling of his mental state over the course of the whole book. Jasper’s story is let down slightly by a direct hammer of a Deus Ex Machina, but fans will know this is goes straight to the heart of his Mitchell-verse setting.

I kept saying from the outset, and well into the middle of the book, that I hoped this wasn’t a narrative where the band, on the verge of breaking out, was swept away into nothingness by a bolt of their own stupidity suddenly striking them down. It didn’t turn out to be the case, and I was glad, but the ending that so many have found tear-jerking, I just found merely comforting that this band’s journey, and my time, wasn’t just brushed off into the waste bin leaving them exactly where they started.

Is this a great David Mitchell book? No, but by his standard, Utopia Avenue would be a great achievement by the vast majority of authors out there. The great Mitchell books remain “Cloud Atlas,” “…Jacob de Zoet,” and “The Bone Clocks,” but this is a solid read and well worth the time.

Apple Quarantini's

So for the quarantine, I’ve decided to be very productive and knock out book 2, which I’m on the verge of delivering and getting started on a second draft of book 3. I would have been uploading it to Amazon last week, but the gremlins of technology had to step in and convince me to blindly and blithely overwrite what I considered to be a final draft. I’ve had to remake my final draft from the top down.

Now, this wasn’t as bad a thing as it seems. I was at the point of just calling it finished and delivering it all the while wishing I could put more time into it. Considering the amount of time already put into it, I didn't want to remake it again unless I was actually being paid to do it. As I leapt to prepare it for compilation and all, I overwrote it without a care in the world.

So now, I’m taking the time to go back through it and remake it properly. Was it okay as it was? Yes, but I fortunately stumbled into Brandon Sanderson’s lectures on YouTube. Finally, some concrete real writing advice for college students, I believe at Brigham Young. His lectures on putting prose and dialog on the page, and how to make your written word more engaging and (maybe more importantly) why were really instructional and inspiring. I recreated one chapter using what he taught. It was immediately so much better. Like, I hadn’t written it, better. Well, maybe not the much better, but significantly better. I wondered if that chapter would stick out like a sore thumb in the book surrounded by all the other so-so chapters. Now, I don’t have to worry, as I’m going through and cleaning up and revising all the chapters from the top down.

It was easy in one chapter, but doing it through the whole book presents it own challenges—mostly my own limitations—and so there are places I still struggle. Often the solution is K.I.S.S. Simple direct sentences with the right words in them usually fixes (avoids) the problem.

So instead at the front end of October, It will be at the end of October ‘The Dance of All Beings Book 2: The White Dragon’ will be released. I’m actually excited about it. I don’t have any delusions that the books are “great,” but I am proud of how they are turning out, incrementally better than the last.

I also like how the series is developing in its own odd way. I’ve been reading through David Mitchell’s catalog of titles and have found them to be very inspiring on the construction and craft of a novel. I don’t even begin to say what I do is comparable, but his work has opened up new avenues of exploration as Brandon’s lectures had. At first, my books were very much the same book told three times with a gimmick that connected them all. Now, the first book is very much a character study with some magical realism thrown in, the second book is epic fantasy that spans dimensions and pokes at the very nature of the reality of this ‘world system,’ and the third book will be very much an action adventure, rag tag gang/mercenary type of book with fantasy characters. They do check the boxes on the diversity checklists, but they are all male for the most part. I do try, but it’s the story I’m writing.

Book 2 and Book 3, at this point, I plan to self publish. It’s the 4th book I want to submit as my first “real” book, built for selling. As I’ve learned from many a lecture and many an agent video on ‘BookTube,’ there are ways to present a book if you’re not wanting it to be dismissed out of hand by an agent or by a publisher. The premise of 4 is one that can stand alone and can be written from the outset, built to give at least lip service to the “rules.” If they go, “…is there more than just this title..?” I can go, well I have these deep drafts of these previous titles that could use an editor’s polishing touch. In essence, paying me to do a “final draft” on.

Publishing is a game. I don’t necessarily subscribe to it, but there is very much a “first page checklist” in agent’s and editor’s heads of varying detail they use to determine if they are even going to read past that first page. As they look at the stack of 1000 titles that will probably pass over their desk in the calendar year, I understand why they don’t want to even begin with someone who doesn’t have that checklist covered. However, this does tell you why books like Harry Potter and Twilight got passed over a couple of dozen times. They didn’t meet the checklist or they were a ‘dead genre’ at the time. Booksellers—those who actually sell books and talk directly to people who actually buy books as I was (am)—all knew these books were of the moment and of the time and are often aghast that any “well-paid” “professional” that is supposed to know about what readers want to buy would have passed over them.

This is the at the heart of why self-publishing has taken off. One does not have to subscribe to any checklists and write what the heart wants to write. It does come, however, with the fact that readers having been presented with most books adhering to the ‘established rules’ of writing, will often poo-poo indie titles fearing the lack of a “professional” line editing eye will mean its a huge grammar dump that is constructed “poorly.” Many Amazon reviews of self-published titles will reflect some version of, “…the grammar was bad, and that is something I can’t get past…” or “…I felt distanced from the story, and I can’t exactly put my finger on why…” Usually, it’s because the grammar is atrocious and it’s one long draft of filter/weak words. That happens when you’d have to dump a couple of grand for a “real” “editor” to make it “right.” Fortunately for a lot less, you can get a very good draft polished. You have to embrace your grammar nerd, whether they are in your head, or they are someone you can bribe to look over your work. You also have to put out a little money for some form of a digital grammar/tone editor to spot the things your grammar nerd tends to overlook. You also need someone or something to read the book aloud to you. You will find a host of things you never saw before or thought of when you do that. This can get you to a passably polished draft. I hope that’s what readers find in my next books.

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3 And Counting

So far, for April, I’ve sold 3 kindle copies. That includes the one I bought. I supposedly entitled to $6 in royalties. I’m not sure if that will be a check or a direct deposit. I’m hoping it’s a check as I’d like to be able to put it with my other $11 royalty check from my first publisher. All total, I’ve probably made $200 off my writing, which is barely anything in the world today, but hey, I’m glad I’ve done that much.

The work on the second book is going well. It’s like a giant funnel that keeps narrowing and moving faster as I go along. I think I know what it’s going to be, and it mostly is, it’s just starting with nearly 200,000 words and whittling it down to 150,000 and trying to find the right path as you cut through the jungle. I see it there in glimpses, then I get lost in the weeds. Valuable Pete Jackson mentoring: who’s your main character - it’s his story… all the rest of the stuff can be lost… but Pete… it’s so pretty… I just can’t let it go… Well… I’m letting my precious go one chapter at a time.